if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Someone signed my nipple.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize