dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
