the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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