sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize