ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
