I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize