it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
