he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
