i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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