I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
