i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
