There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
