You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
