I'm drive I can fine osifer
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
