True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
