We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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