Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
