i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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