If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
