ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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