I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
