Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
