Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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