And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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