sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
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We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
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im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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