Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
