i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
