I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
