i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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