I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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