I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
