do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize