Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize