i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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