We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
