addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
