I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
