im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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