It's like God shit irony all over that family
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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