I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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