Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize