Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
