I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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