Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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