Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
