Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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