he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
