I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize