just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You were trust falling into bushes
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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