Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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