Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
