dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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