Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize