Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
