I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize