I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
