Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
