my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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